I don’t know when I realized that my head was screwed on a little differently than others
It happened but I can’t remember
Because the screw that is on my memories is a little lose
People don’t always believe me when I say I have bad memory
Because when you have something that you and most people you know have it’s hard to imagine not having it
I wish there was some deeper meaning that I could share but there’s nowhere to go with this
It’s just supposed to be sad : (
This year is different
In so many ways
But I think the best difference
Was that I didn’t force a smile once
And I didn’t forget to say thank you
I’m not saying this year was perfect
Far from in fact
I still had times when it was hard
I still had times I felt pain
But for the first time in a long time
I enjoyed this time of the year
With all my emotions present
Once there were questions from a confused angel.
Now I’m curious if you may have any questions for a confused angel.
Dozens of birds
Fly through the sky
Hauntingly beautiful
And entirely terrifying
Miles and miles they fly
Each with only one eye
We run and hide
Those who are caught
By the monsters sight
You tend to find them dead
In some remote spot
.
.
.
anything else *
of course
Click click
…
Click click
…
Click click
…
I’m sitting here in class
Trying to write a letter
It’s to me in twenty years
But
…
Click click
…
I can’t focus
Someone has a pen
That they’re clicking like the Instagram of their best friend
But I just need to focus
Cause this letter’s for a grade
…
Click click
…
Dear me,
…
Click
…
Have you found the solution
Cause I’ve tried to read books and blogs
…
Click click click click click
…
what was I saying
…
Blogs
What happened to them
…
oh right
The books and blogs are always talking about how to raise a child like me
But I’m the child and almost an adult
So how do I function now
Cause the treatments I’ve heard of don’t work for me
I know
I’ve tried
…
Click
…
It would be so easy if I could just focus
But that stupid pen just keeps clicking and clicking
Why are they even clicking their pen that much
Or is it even a pen
Maybe it’s just a loud mechanical pencil
Speaking of pencils
I need to sharpen my pencil
Does the teacher have a sharpener in this room
Maybe I should just get one to keep in my bag
I’ll stop by the store later today
Didn’t I have a list of things I needed to get
I should check to see if I have a list on my phone
Oh, I got a notification for my email
It’s from a college
Oh right, I need to finish my applications
Why didn’t I finish them yesterday?
My computer died
Did I leave the cord in my bedroom?
I should probably clean my room
I was looking for something in there yesterday
What was it?
Chapstick
I was looking for chapstick
I should probably just
…
Click
…
Click
…
Oh right, the letter
Here I am in a fight
They have a knife
And I have a gun
A punch to my gut
And I am undone
I taste blood
Like you taste water
One kick from the foe
My back hits wall
I’m just too weak
And so I heave
My vision goes black
Who will win
My body
Or me
Once it was my pride
It was indifferent
It’s was unaffected
Now it’s bleeding
But I can’t seem to follow
All that dried blood on the floor
I once heard the phrase ”eggshell fine”
And I think we are
We are all just eggshells
And I need someone
To hold me gently
This is it this is your last warning.
Turn away now if you wish to never know my real identity.
The following videos are narrations of past pieces
I am not human
The juxtaposition of humanity
Do not make sacrifices to the sea. It knows who’s blood it wants
Crescendo
Moonlit night
Goodbye baby vl.1
Goodbye baby vl.2
Little fish, swim with me.
The sea will feast on whom it desires. Running will be fruitless.
Thank you for this journey.
Let’s keep walking together.
